you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you would pick up someone in the library
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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