Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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