Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Screwed.edu
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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