it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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