I accidentally burped into my bong.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize