And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
