If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
