Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize