So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
