I don't think brook has ever known best
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
