what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
