Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
