i would punch a child for taco bell
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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