Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
