at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I am available for nakedness
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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