Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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