I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
