Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
