Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
