Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
