i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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