Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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