I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
