How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
