she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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