It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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