SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
