I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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