Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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