This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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