Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize