the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
