Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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