I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My dick has a subreddit
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
