all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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