your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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