i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
