dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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