8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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