HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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