glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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