From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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