i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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