i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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