sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
