oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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