the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
