He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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