so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
