wanna go halves on a baby?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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