It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize