i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
