i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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