i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
