I'm so fucking centered right now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
