so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize