The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize