Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
