Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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