i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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