Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
