he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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