you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I cockslap morals
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
