Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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